i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
