i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
