I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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