Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
