Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
