Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize