Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
