the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
