apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
