Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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