I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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