I'm lost and stupid without you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
