They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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