I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
