Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
