i may or may not be watching the land before time
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
