i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
