whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
