Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
