so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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