he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
