Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
