Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
