Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're like the curious george of whores
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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