dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
