people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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