I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
