You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
