Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
