i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
