So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
