Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
