am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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