apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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