The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
