People in love make me want to vomit
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize