So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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