Porn is love you can see.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
