Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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