i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
