He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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