I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
