oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i think i just lost a toe
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
