do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
