So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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