My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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