Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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