the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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