I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
