so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
