please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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