Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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