Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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