That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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