so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
